SLaM 2006
League Preview
Commissioner Freeman offers an unbiased breakdown of the league's three divisions, as well as predictions for the playoffs and SLaM Bowl IX. Without further ado, the SLaM 2006 season...
HYPERACTIVE JAWAS
QB: B+
RB: B
WR: C+
ST: A
Key Games: Week 2 vs. Legion, Week 3 vs. Kool-Aid
What Needs to Go Right: Carson Palmer has to be back to his old self
What Can’t Go Wrong: Anything involving the words “Fred Taylor” and “Groin” or “Hamstring”
Prognosis: Barring injury, this team looks ready to make a playoff run in their inaugural season
Projected Record: 10 – 4, 1st place in the ThugLife Division
LEGION REBORN
QB: D+
RB: C-
WR: B+
ST: B-
Key Games: Week 2 vs. Jawas, Week 3 vs. Deuces
What Needs to Go Right: Production from a Running Back not named Edge
What Can’t Go Wrong: Terrell Owens
Prognosis: A team with potential upside, the second RB slot could be this team’s Achilles Heel
Projected Record: 6 – 8, 2nd place in the ThugLife Division
DEUCES WILD
QB: B-
RB: D+
WR: C-
ST: B
Key Games: Week 2 vs. Kool-Aid, Week 3 vs. Legion
What Needs to Go Right: RB Tandem has to surprise people
What Can’t Go Wrong: Slow Start could doom this team
Prognosis: Long season for the Deuces
Projected Record: 4 – 10, 3rd place in the ThugLife Division
GRAPE KOOL-AID
QB: B-
RB: B+
WR: D
ST: B-
Key Games: Week 1 vs. Minions – Battle for the Red Cross
What Needs to Go Right: DeShaun Foster needs to hold onto his starting job in Carolina
What Can’t Go Wrong: McNabb can’t play injured like last season
Prognosis: A down year for the Kool-Aid sippers
Projected Record: 3 – 11, 4th place in the ThugLife Division
AVON GUNSLINGERS
QB: C
RB: B
WR: A
ST: B-
Key Games: Week 14 vs. Minions, Week 13 vs. Billz
What Needs to Go Right: Bush or Addai needs to step up and become the primary back
What Can’t Go Wrong: Ronnie Brown cannot suffer a sophomore slump
Prognosis: Well balanced team that should make a run at the playoffs
Projected Record: 10 – 4, 1st place Hoop Dreams
MING'S MINIONS
QB: C-
RB: B
WR: A-
ST: B
Key Games: Week 14 vs. Gunslingers, Week 13 vs. Chip-Chip
What Needs to Go Right: Warrick Dunn needs to have another good season left in the tank
What Can’t Go Wrong: Stephen Jackson's and Steve Smith’s injuries cannot be lingering ones
Prognosis: Wild Card team that could take the division
Projected Record: 9 – 5, 2nd place in the Hoop Dreams Division
DOLLA BILLZ
QB: D
RB: B+
WR: B-
ST: B
Key Games: Week 8 vs. Minions, Week 13 vs. Gunslingers
What Needs to Go Right: Culpepper needs to play like he did during the Randy Moss era
What Can’t Go Wrong: Lamont Jordan can’t be lost in the new Raiders offense
Prognosis: A tough division will keep a dangerous Powers team out of the playoffs
Projected Record: 7 – 7, 3rd place in the Hoop Dreams Division
CHIP-CHIP
QB: A-
RB: C+
WR: F
ST: B-
Key Games: Week 3 vs. Minions, Week 2 vs. Gunslingers
What Needs to Go Right: Clinton Portis must be healthy and perform
What Can’t Go Wrong: Corey Dillon can’t falter and lose his starting job
Prognosis: A brutal opening schedule could put the Chip-Chip in an early hole
Projected Record: 5 – 9, 4th place in Hoop Dreams
TOKEN MINORITIES
QB: F
RB: A
WR: B
ST: B
Key Games: Week 14/7 vs. Dictators (Winner of the Season Series gets the Vegas Cup and $1)
What Needs to Go Right: WR’s needed to perform
What Can’t Go Wrong: Anything at all with Larry Johnson
Prognosis: SLaM Bowl Favorite
Projected Record: 10 – 4, 1st place in the RiverDance Division
C-O-N-SPIRACY
QB: C
RB: B+
WR: B-
ST: B
Key Games: Week 14 vs. Destroyers, Week 13 vs. Dictators
What Needs to Go Right: Antonio Gates needs to perform w/ Rivers like he did w/ Brees
What Can’t Go Wrong: Tiki Barber cannot show his age
Prognosis: This team will compete but just miss a playoff spot
Projected Record: 8 – 6, 2nd place in the RiverDance Division
Benevolent Dictators
QB: A
RB: C
WR: C
ST: B
Key Games: Week 14/7 vs. Dictators (Winner of the Season Series gets the Vegas Cup and $1)
What Needs to Go Right: WRs need to step up and exceed expectations
What Can’t Go Wrong: Julius Jones needs to keep his job
Prognosis: A dangerous team that will finish just out of the playoff picture
Projected Record: 7 – 7, 3rd place in the RiverDance Division
GALT'S GULCH DESTROYERS
QB: B
RB: D+
WR: C+
ST: A-
Key Games: Week 11 vs. Legion; Inter-Spousal Conflict and SLaM Bowl rematch
What Needs to Go Right: The Brothers Moss need to produce good touchdowns
What Can’t Go Wrong: A repeat of last year for Jamal Lewis
Prognosis: It’s tough to be King (or Queen in this case); Galt’s will face a hard road to repeating
Projected Record: 5 – 9, 4th place in the RiverDance Division
Ming's Minions def. Hyperactive Jawas
Token Minorities def. Avon Gunslingers
Token Minorities vs. Ming's Minons
SLaM 2006 Champion: Token Minorities
Submitted 9/5/06