SLaM 2003
League Preview
The Commissioner offers his breakdown of the league's three divisions...
Team: Deuces Wild
Projected Record: 8-6
Key Player: Insert 2nd Running Back Here
With the shocking season ending injury to "Little Man" James Stewart, the Deuces are scambling to find an able-bodied RB
Playoff Chances: 60%
If they can plug the hole at RB, Deuces should be competitive all season.
Fun Fact: First team in 2003 to lose a player drafted in the first 5 Rounds to Injury (usually this honor belongs to Galt's Destroyers)
Team: Legion Reborn
Projected Record: 8-6
Key Player: Insert RB2 name here
Is it Onterrio Smith? A-Train? DuckMan? That kid from the Little Giants? Only time will tell
Playoff Chances: 50%
It's always 50/50.
Fun Fact: Drafted Janakowski in order to fulfill, 1 convicted criminal minimum.
Team: Sky Rats
Projected Record: 8-6
Key Player: Warrick Dunn
Can he put up consistent numbers instead of massive swings?
Playoff Chances: 42%
Rock and Roll Lifestyle may limit his hands on ownership style
Fun Fact: If League trend of National Disasters related to team names continues, expect a plague of airborne rats sometime in '03
Team: Grape Kool-Aid
Projected Record: 4-10
Key Player: Donovan McNabb
Capable of being the most potent QB in the Fantasy realm, is he back all the way from last season's injury?
Playoff Chances: 30%
New comer needs a few of his younger players to step up and then could be a threat.
Fun Fact: Offered the Commissioner $20,000,000 for the franchise rights to the former Cleveland run team
Team: Dolla Billz
Projected Record: 10-4
Key Player: All Receivers
Who are these guys? Has Beens and Never Will Bes vie for playing time.
Playoff Chances: 51%
Never count out the Jenks tank. #1 rated Fantasy Football Franchise of all-time.
Fun Fact: Move back to a "real" time zone can only help them on the transaction market
Team: Ming's Minions
Projected Record: 9-5
Key Player: Matt Hasselbeck
Is this guy for real, or just a last season stud who performs when the pressure is off?
Playoff Chances: 52%
Will his pending wedding interfere with his playoff run?
Fun Fact: Rumors abound that his wife to be will take over day to day team operations after the wedding
Team: Avon Gunslingers
Projected Record: 8-6
Key Player: Trent Green
He sucks, but how badly? Will defenses focus in on Priest and free him up to throw?
Playoff Chances: 49%
Tough Division, and everyone will be up for them as they are the reigning champs.
Fun Fact: First 2 Time SLaM Champion (twice over the Legion.)
Team: Chip-Chip
Projected Record: 5-9
Key Player: Curtis Martin
If the most handsome man in football has one more great season left in him, then this team could push for the playoffs.
Playoff Chances: 35%
Tough Division Historically, but could be due for a down year.
Team: Benevolent Dictators
Projected Record: 8-6
Key Player: Brett Favre
Will the success of his underground mall in Montreal detract from his on-field performance?
Playoff Chances: 51%
Fun Fact: Will pay his players in rupees this year under new "Cash is Cash" policy
Team: Galt's Gulch Destroyers
Projected Record: 7-7
Key Player: Trung Candidate
Is he a star? A Starter? Rob Johnson of Running backs? The answer decides this teams future
Playoff Chances: 63.5%
Weak Division. Could win it even if Trung isn't the real deal.
Fun Fact: Recent survey determined she was the leading cause of major injury in the NFL
Team: Token Minorities
Projected Record: 6-8
Key Player: Steve McNair
Will he be able to hold himself together until Vick is back in action?
Playoff Chances: 55%
Possibilities for great things, but poor luck always a key factor
Fun Fact: Lead the league in points against last season.
Team: C-O-N-spiracy
Projected Record: 3-11
Key Player: Peerless Price
Price must put up dominate numbers in Atlanta worthy of his #1 WR status for this squad to be competitive.
Playoff Chances: 33%
Weak Division. A chimp throwing darts at a draft board has a chance in this division.
Fun Fact: Cut one of the top 10 scoring Fantasy Receiver in the NFL last year.
Submitted 9/4/03 by SLaM 2003 Commissioner Josh Freeman.