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Tomb Raider

Starring: Angelina Jolie
Director: Simon West
Genre: Action
Year: 2001
Rating: 2 / 5

Warning! The film you are about to watch is filled with bouncing bosoms, closets full of tight clothing, and an absurd amount of gratuitous zooming. Any attempts to identify a coherent plot in this film will be met with a swift rebuke. You have been warned.

Imagine how much better we all would feel if films contained disclaimers such as this in their advertisements. This very one could run in front of Tomb Raider, the latest in a long line of video game adaptations that do not quite cut it as motion pictures. Star Angelina Jolie may look the part and she may bring buckets full of attitude, but she is not enough to save a jumbled plot, a stereotypical evil mastermind, and dreadful one-liners. The film boasts of lavish scenery and some wondrous sets, but these alone are not enough to salvage a story that would not cut it as a Young Indiana Jones Chronicles episode.

Lara Croft (Angelina Jolie) is a world-renowned tomb raider (read: archeologist), carrying on in the footsteps of her famous father (Jon Voight). Alas, Lara has been carrying the load by herself for the last fifteen years, as her father, lost in the field some time ago, has not been heard from since. She lives in a rather stately mansion with her computer-savvy pal Bryce (Noah Taylor) and her dutiful butler Hilary (Chris Barrie). Things get a little complicated when a family secret is revealed - the missing Lord Croft was in possession of a mysterious key, one which unlocks unimaginable power. This key holds the blueprint for time itself, and ruthless men are out to get it.

At this point, the plot veers off into subjects such as the Temple of Light, an evil organization known as the Illuminati, and two pieces of a time-travelling triangle. Confused? You should be, but you probably should not really care. As mentioned above, the plot is convoluted at best, but, then again, most fans are not really coming for the plot. Jon Voight is utterly superfluous as Lara's globe-trotting father, serving merely to provide a couple of overview monologues. These attempt to flush out the film's story, yet they come across as cheap excuses to allow Voight the chance the work with daughter Angelina Jolie. The evil organization is mostly faceless, save egomaniac Manfred Powell (Iain Glen), and the token henchmen are standard fare.

Director Simon West (Con Air) really should have known better than to take a project such as this, but it does allow him to say he headed another $100 million grosser. Angelina Jolie is fit and buff for the role, and she really does bear a striking resemblance to the computer character she represents. At times she looks rather humorous in her tight little shorts, twin guns strapped to her bare thighs. Surprisingly, she even handles the action sequences well, kicking, jumping, and dashing about the screen. If only her writers had given her something halfway decent to say - then we might actually have a story worth telling. As it is, Tomb Raider's Lara Croft is merely eye candy for young men, an action hero for young women, and a waste of time for the rest of the populace.

Cast:

Certification: Rated PG-13 for violence.
Running Time: 92 minutes.

Additional Info: Internet Movie Database
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