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Millennium

Starring: Kris Kristofferson, Cheryl Ladd
Director: Michael Anderson
Genre: Science Fiction
Year: 1989
Rating: 1 / 5

Stephen Hunter, film critic for the Washington Post, made a valid point in one of his articles the other day. After a certain point, one runs out of words to use when describing bad films. Films can only "stink" and "suck" so many times, after which it can become downright repetitive. That being said, please excuse my language when I say that Millennium, a 1989 science fiction film starring Kris Kristofferson, is bad. Strike that. This film is beyond bad, with barely a redeeming quality.

Before renting this film "classic," a good friend of mine told me that he had fond memories of this film. Searching the internet for more information, I found a review that seemed to seal its fate. "Friends don't let friends watch this film." That pretty much sums up the quality level of this film, but, masochist that I am, I decided to see what all the fuss is about. I had seen this some ten years prior, but I had only vague recollections as to the depths to which it would sink. I boldly shelled out my two dollars to rent this time travel extravaganza, and I did not stop weeping for two straight hours.

Bill Smith (Kris Kristofferson) is an aviation expert who deals primarily with plane crashes. One particular crash has him concerned, though, due to the unusual circumstances involving the deaths of the passengers. Smith comes into contact with Louise Baltimore (Cheryl Ladd), a woman from the future who is posing as an airline stewardess. She has been sent back to retrieve a futuristic stun device, something that cannot be allowed to fall into the hands of the scientists of the present. It is a device her people use to rescue people just before their death, shuttling them off to a better life in the future. Huh?

Millennium does precious little right, though I will give it some credit for a relatively consistent handling of the time travel concept. The future is rather peculiar, involving "wise ones" with fake skin stretched over their faces and a robot that seems to be a castoff from Battlestar Gallactica. Cheryl Ladd's character is hardly original, as it bears a striking resemblance to Daryl Hannah's character in Blade Runner. But the most outlandish injustice is that we must watch the exact same movie twice - from a different perspective! Boring, action-less sequences are replayed with alarming regularity, sucking out any hope the viewer may have had for an enjoyable experience. If only I had the chance to travel back in time - I would warn myself about the perils of renting Millennium.

Cast:
Kris Kristofferson..........Bill Smith
Cheryl Ladd..........Louise Baltimore
Daniel J. Travanti..........Dr. Arnold Mayer

Certification: Rated PG-13.
Running Time: 108 minutes.

Additional Info: Internet Movie Database
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[critics]