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Haunted Mansion

Starring: Eddie Murphy
Director: Rob Minkoff
Genre: Comedy
Year: 2003
Rating: 2 / 5

Disney has decided there are no depths to which it will not sink in order to make a buck. Yet another amusement park ride has been turned into a film, and Haunted Mansion is the unsatisfying result. Eddie Murphy, who long ago sold his soul to the devil in exchange for a second life as a family film star, stars in this lumbering tale, offering the occasional witty snippet but often playing the bumbling fool. With little humor and a few too many chills for the underage crowd, one has to wonder about the real target audience for this film. It likely won’t leave fans running for the exits – the visuals are still top-notch and the villains have some weight to them – but the overriding sense is one of disappointment.

Jim Evers (Eddie Murhphy) of Evers & Evers Real Estate wants to sell your house. Always on the go, always looking for a deal, Jim has a habit of neglecting his family. Eager to make amends, Jim promised the family a nice weekend vacation. Before the family sets off, however, Jim’s wife Sara (Marsha Thomason) gets a call from an individual seeking to put his mansion on the market. Never one to let a golden opportunity fall by the wayside, Jim convinces his wife to make a quick stop to visit this prospective buyer. As often is the case in such films, the quick stop is anything but, and the Evers family members soon find out that their vacation plans have been permanently altered.

Ramsley (Terence Stamp), servant of the manor, greets our weary travelers, informing them that Master Gracey (Nathanial Parker) is looking to sell a property that has been in his family for generations. As the family learns more about the house, we learn that Master Gracey has more than a passing interest in Sara Evers. It seems that Sara bears more than a little resemblance to a woman who died tragically at the mansion decades prior. Soon, a great many of the old home’s secrets are revealed, including the corporeal consistency of its chief dwellers. Only by understanding what really happened at the mansion and what role his wife is meant to play can Jim Evers hope to get his family out of the haunted mansion.

Eddie Murphy has been searching for a legitimate hit for more than a decade, only bobbing above water when manning family-friendly fare. His days of guiding a “grown-up” film to box office glory are behind him, and it appears he’s merely out to cash a paycheck. Murphy trudges through the script, displaying neither charisma nor conviction and offering little more than his trademark grin. Terence Stamp is ghoulish as the mansion’s foreboding caretaker, although his shtick wears thin after a while. The Evers family spends the majority of the film trying to find a way to escape the haunted mansion. Walking out the door would not work for them, but it will for the rest of this film’s unfortunate viewers.

Cast:

Certification: Rated PG.
Running Time: 99 minutes.

Additional Info: Internet Movie Database
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