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Fortress

Starring: Christopher Lambert
Director: Stuart Gordon
Genre: Science Fiction
Year: 1993
Rating: 1 / 5

Any discussion about "the worst movie ever" has to include Fortress, the horrendous science fiction number starring the always-wooden Christopher Lambert. This 1993 film is easily one of the five worst movies I have ever seen, and I actually like science fiction movies. I long ago dismissed Christopher Lambert as a third-rate actor who had the good fortune to star opposite Sean Connery in Highlander. I will not, however, blame him (well, not for everything at least) for the mess that is Fortress. Lambert is well-paid scenery, merely there to laugh as unsuspecting viewers take this bumpy ride to film hell.

In 2017, John Brennick (Christopher Lambert) and his wife Karen (Loryn Locklin) are trying to sneak across the United States border. After losing their first child at birth, Karen is pregnant with their second, a crime in this ruthless, militaristic future. Stopped while attempting this escape, John is captured and sent to a large, subterranean facility run by the Men-Tel Corporation. There, John is to serve thirty-one years for his part in the crime, though he is relieved to know that his wife has escaped to raise their child. Or has she? It seems that Karen has also been captured, meaning that it is up to John to find a way to free the two of them.

A little odd, but not "the worst movie ever," right? Wrong. Prisoners of the Men-Tel Corporation are injected with The Intestinator (please, kids, do not try this at home). This small device, barely bigger than a golf ball, is linked to a central computer system that administers jolts of pain whenever prisoners are out of line. These metallic orbs also prevent the prisoners from crossing over into certain areas of the prison; if they attempt to, they explode from the inside. In addition, using a swiveling ceiling camera, Prison Director Poe (Kurtwood Smith) is able to project a green grid onto the heads of prisoners, thereby allowing him to watch their dreams. Huh? Who comes up with this stuff?

Some films lack strong supporting casts, but these films are usually redeemed by the strength of their leads. In this case, that lead is Christopher Lambert, which makes redemption an unlikely prospect. There is not one worthwhile acting performance in the entire film, with the possible exception of Loryn Locklin, though her role is largely thankless and she exists primarily to "inspire" her husband's dreams. I could not possibly run through all of this film's flaws in such a short amount of time, but my goal is a simple one. If this review prevents one innocent filmgoer from being subjected to this nightmare, I will have done my good deed for the day. If, however, you are one of the perverse few who actually find films like this entertaining, take comfort - there is even a sequel. God help the rest of us!

Cast:

Certification: Rated R for violence and sexual situations.
Running Time: 95 minutes.

Additional Info: Internet Movie Database
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