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Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Lou Diamond Phillips
Director:
Genre: Action / Comedy
Year: 1998
Rating: 3 / 5

Reviewed by Guest Scribe Godking

Hitman. Lover. Loser.

Marky Mark slaps home another clip and starts wrecking shit. Playing Melvin in this un-inspired, but enjoyable, action-comedy he manages to lose two hot chicks, kill his psuedo-friends (I am sooo jealous) and grab a sexually frustrated girl named China Chow.

John Woo should stop slapping his name on these films. The Big Hit is not good, it is not earth-shattering, it is not even cutting edge. It is enjoyable pulp. But on to the good stuff...

Melvin is being taken for his money. He is a damn good contract killer, yet he is getting taken by his friends, his women, his future in-laws. He justs wants to be liked. Well, as Lou "Shining" Diamond Philips says, "I don't think the families of the 100 odd people you killed like you." Lou plays Cisco, a little-talent, big-ego, bad-dressing hitman from the hood. He and his buddies, Crunch ( who has a curious affliction similar to one my friend El Guru handles) and Vince. Let me say a word about Vince. WHY IS THIS GUY IN THIS MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!! Back to the point. So Melvin decides to work free-lance with his buddies on a kidnapping job. Well, they happen to kidnap the daughter of the big scary wannabe-the-bad-guy from The Crow. OOOPS.

---Insert gratuitous violence and car chase and kidnapee falling for Melvin, and Melvin falling for the kidnapee. ----

--Insert semi-humourous one-liner, and fight to the death of main antagonist/protagonist.--

Go rent The Replacement Killers. Mira in tight leather with a 9MM. Yum.

Cast:

Mark Wahlberg..........	Melvin Smiley
Lou Diamond Phillips..........	Cisco
China Chow..........	Keiko Nishi
Christina Applegate..........	Pam Shulman
Avery Brooks..........	Parris
Bokeem Woodbine..........	Crunch
Antonio Sabato, Jr..........	Vince

Certification: Rated R for violence and language.
Running Time: 90 minutes.

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